Five Times
by pinkspidey62
Summary: Five times Rodrick tried to impress his tutor, Bobbi Rivers, but failed, and the one time she impressed him . Six Chapters.
1. Note

Summary: Five times Rodrick Heffley tried to impress his tutor and the one time she impressed him. Multi-chapter and part of my planned version of _The Ugly_ _Truth_ and _Cabin Fever_.

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><p>Attempt #1<p>

This was time for Rodrick to use his Casanova skills to woo his hot tutor, Bobbi Rivers, off her feet. Bobbi was already hot for him; he just gotta make her realize it.

How?

By writing a totally bangin' love note, because all chicks dug love letters, even tomboyish ones like Bobbi.

He spent his entire home room period writing it. Now he had to get straight to the point because Bobbi wasn't into all that sugary stuff and would most likely laugh in his face for even writing it that way.

He even made the effort to make it to first period on time even though normally he wouldn't give a crap. Lately, due to his tutor, Rodrick started to care slightly about his grades more and more every day. He was doing it without even noticing it. He was actually ready for class for once; that usually never happens. He also tried to write notes instead of throwing paper airplanes at Ben.

When a familiar dark-skinned took her seat two rows from him , he smirked. It was game time.

As the teacher went on with the lesson that would normally have face down on his desk snoozing away, he passed the note to Ben, which Ben then passed it to the kid behind him. His plan was a success. No way it could fail now.

And then it failed.

Rodrick inconveniently forgot that Mr. Thompson was not only the strictest English teacher in his school, but he also lived to give his students detention or demerits for even the tiniest offenses. Rodrick was often the "victim". So his teacher was waiting for something like to brighten up his day by yet another student detention.

"Excuse me, can I have that?" The teacher ordered sternly. Rodrick was cursing in his head. The latest student that had Rodrick's note walked over and gave it to him, trembling. His teacher took one look at his note and sighed, knowing who wrote it just by looking all the spelling and grammatical errors.

"Rodrick Heffley, I would like to see you after class".

And that's how Rodrick ended up with after school detention. For added insult, his corrected all his errors, which left his note almost completely red.

At least he knew not to spell "dear" as "deer".


	2. Chocolates

Attempt #2

Ok, so the note ended up being a total failure. Did that mean that Rodrick was going to give up? No way!

It was time for Plan B…

Bobbi liked chocolate. She didn't care if it was milk, dark, white, or low fat; if it was chocolate she would eat it. She even would give him some during their tutoring sessions (partly as a form of bribery to get him to actually do some work and pay attention; partly because she needed some sort of comfort from tutoring him). Although lately, he would comment (in a super subtle way) on how he wanted to eat a larger piece of chocolate while eying her up and down. It was his super secret way of saying he was into her. She totally did not notice it, judging from her blank facial expression whenever he did it.

He bought a large box of chocolates (the box shaped into a heart) from a really cheap candy store in the mall. It was kinda shady in appearance, and several of the candies were obvious knock-offs of more popular ones like Hershey bars and skittles. The store owner was also kinda creepy and disturbing for someone who's supposed to be working at a candy store. He looked like he should be on America's Most Wanted and would _not_ stop staring down Rodrick, even after he left the store. Sadly, he was low on cash so this store was the only option.

When he got home, he made sure to put the box of chocolates on top of the refrigerator so that his youngest brother, Manny, could not get his little destructive hands on it. Everything that he and his other little brother, Greg, had that Manny touched ended up ruined in mere minutes. The latest items of his that Manny had ruined were his drum set. He didn't know how he did it but somehow, his drums had ended up with a _huge_ hole in each of them. It took him like a month to get his parents to give him the money to buy a new set.

When Greg came downstairs to the kitchen for a snack, he looked up at the refrigerator in confusion.

"Why is there a box of chocolates on the top of the fridge?" Greg asked.

"They're for Bobbi when she comes over in about of couple of minutes. I put them on top of the fridge so Manny wouldn't get to 'em," Rodrick said while flipping through the channels.

If it were possible, Greg's left eyebrow could have shot into his hair from how high he raised in disbelief.

"You think that putting your stuff on top of a high place will keep it safe from Manny? Good luck with that," he said while walking to the stairs.

"Little bro, Manny is smart, but not that smart. There's no way he's reaching those chocolates," Rodrick stated confidently.

"Again, good luck with that", Greg repeated. He was almost at the top when the doorbell rang. Both brothers paused what they were doing.

Rodrick grinned in excitement but when he opened the door, there was something (or someone) he was not expecting.

Bobbi was standing there with a girl that looked to be around Greg's age. She had her arms behind her back and her posture was really stiff. She also had a facial expression that he was sure was way too stern and frosty for a kid her age. It only got stranger when Greg knew who she was.

"Jerri?" He asked, confused.

"Greg?" She replied, just as confused.

"You guys know each other?" Bobbi said to the younger girl. The younger girl nodded.

"We go to the same school. You've been tutoring his brother the entire time?"

"Well yeah, how come you didn't tell me that you knew him? I mentioned that Rodrick had a little brother a couple of times!"

"You never told me his name!"

"You could have asked for his name!"

"Uh ladies, I don't mean to butt in but who are you?" Rodrick finally spoke up, gesturing to Jerri.

"This is Jerri, my younger sister," Bobbi stated.

"Hello," The younger sister replied flatly. She went back to looking as frosty and stern as possible. Rodrick could tell just by looking at her that she was going to grow up into either a killjoy or an ice queen. She did not look like the type of person that knew how to have a good time.

"Forgive her, she's a little cold to people at first", the older sister explained. 'She's little cold? An ice berg is warmer than her!' Rodrick thought to himself. He couldn't say that out loud though, that wouldn't earn him any points with Bobbi. Said girl turned towards him.

"Okay, now that that's all over… why did you invite me over your house?" She asked.

"Because I wanna give you something, plus I was hoping I could introduce you to my parents. They're out right now but they'll be home soon," he explained. Her eyes brightened.

"Wow, I didn't know you were going to get me a gift. Am I really helping you that much? Well Jerri, do you want to hang out with Greg a bit?"

"If Greg has no problem with it, do you Greg?" Jerri replied. Greg shook his head.

"No, I guess. I never really hung out with a girl before other than Holly," he said. Rodrick noticed that her face softened considerably when he said that, and now she was sporting a smile.

He was glad when Greg and Jerri finally went into the living room to play video games. Now that those two were gone, now was his chance.

"So you wanna wait out here while I get it?" He said, grinning. This couldn't possibly go wrong. He bought her favorite candy in a heart-shaped box and invited her over so she could meet his parents when they got back home. It couldn't have been a more pleasant first step for them.

It did go wrong.

From this point on, he will now ALWAYS make sure that there is a zero percent chance of Manny touching his belongings. Not ten, not two, not even one percent, ZERO percent.

He knew it. He knew that deep down, Greg was right. Nothing could stop Manny. Their baby brother was extremely smart for a four year old.

When he reached for the box on the fridge, he knew something was wrong. The taping that held the box together was gone on both ends was gone. So the box basically felt apart instantly.

Then when he took the lid off in confusion, he noticed several of the chocolate pieces were missing.

That's not the worst part though. The real kicker was that the rest were either completely rotten or on their way of being rotten. He checked the back of the box and blanched. The box was past its expiration date by _three years_. He managed to pick up a box of rotten chocolates from a shady candy store. _He was going to give the girl he was trying to win over a box of rotten chocolates_. Was he like extremely evil in a past life to earn something as unlucky as this? If Bobbi ate one of them, she could have gotten sick. And then he would blow any chances of being with her.

By the time he noticed that Manny was sitting in kitchen the entire time with a chocolate ring around his mouth, he was almost ready to sob. First the note failed, and now the chocolates failed. This grand scheme to get Bobbi too like him was epically failing so far.

When he got back home, his parents left him to watch Greg and Manny while they went out shopping. They would not like coming home and seeing their youngest son sick as a dog due to their oldest son being too busy trying to win over some girl to watch him. And then there's the fact that his mom did not like it when he had random girls over at the house without her either meeting them or knowing them beforehand. His mother is gonna be so mad, it was scary. This is bad. Really bad. Rodrick silently prayed that Manny wouldn't get sick.

Sadly, Manny did get sick. He vomited on the floor 15 minutes later. It grabbed the attention of Bobbi, Greg, and Jerri. They all came rushing into the kitchen. Greg and Jerri looked completely disgusted while Bobbi looked at the scene in horror.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" She asked in concern. Manny looked up at her.

"He did it," he simply said while sending his oldest brother a nasty look. Bobbi sent Rodrick one herself.

"Dude, why weren't you watching him? He's only four from you told me! He could have hurt himself really bad because you weren't paying attention to him! And now here he is, puking on the floor!" She scolded. Rodrick wished the ground would swallow him up.

Then his parents walked through the door and everything went even further down south. His mom practically had a heart attack from seeing Manny in a puddle of vomit. She screamed at him and Greg (because he was old enough to be responsible enough to look after Manny too) for about 7 minutes before she noticed two girls she never saw before looking at the scene in shock. Bobbi only managed to greet awkward "Hi" before she grabbed Jerri and left the house, mumbling a string of awkward apologies. This led to 10 minutes of lecturing Rodrick breaking the house rules by inviting girls over without her or his father's permission.

In short, Attempt #2 had an even more depressing outcome than Attempt#1, and Rodrick was grounded for the entire weekend.

If there was some way he could (legally) auction off Manny, he would do it in a heartbeat.


	3. Cookies

Author's Note: Happy Valentine's Day! Thanks for the reviews so far!

Attempt #3

Ok, now he was starting to get a little bit discouraged. How did he manage to epically fail TWICE? He could have sworn he was gonna end up successful with the chocolates.

But no, he just had to be cursed with an evil little brat of a brother that wrecks up stuff and gets away with it. Like seriously, his parents could have least sat Manny down and warned him to not touch other people's stuff without their permission. Then again, that would require them to not actually spoil Manny for once. If they kept spoiling Manny and not telling him right from wrong, he was going to either end up as a bigger loser than his ex-manager Bill or a sociopathic killer.

It annoyed it even more whenever Uncle Gary's wedding was brought up at the dinner. Rodrick couldn't win over Bobbi yet his uncle, who is getting married for the fourth time, is. Honestly, he and Greg didn't need baby pictures or anything similar because all someone needed to do was to look at Uncle Gary's wedding photos to see how much they grown over the years. It was that sad and pathetic. They would also stay at their great grand mom's house during the wedding. The last time he saw his great grandmother, Gammie, she gave him "The Talk". It was really creepy and humiliating, especially when she lifted her skirt up and showed him all the pores and warts she had. At least it was Greg's turn to talk to her so he can endure the humiliation as well. It was something every Heffley kid had to through when they became teenagers.

He's been trying to find out a way to get out of going to the wedding for weeks but none of the ideas he came up with would sit well with his mother.

He tried to come up with new ways to get with Bobbi while he was basically in prison for the weekend. It was becoming increasingly difficult to think of something because he had to remind himself that she was a tomboy. All that cheesy stuff that was popular in chick flicks and novels would not sell to her. Now that he thought about it, delivering her chocolates in a huge pink-shaped heart wrapped in a frilly bow to a girl that found hearts to be "clichéd" and "boring" was not such a good idea after all.

At dinner, he ate his food like he was really was at a prison. His mood was poor and he picked at his meal in a miserable fashion. Manny sitting happily beside him, mowing down his food made Rodrick even more irritated.

However, his mother decided she was going to talk to him, much to his annoyance.

"So Rodrick," she started, "who was that girl you invited over on Friday?"

"Bobbi Rivers. She's my tutor and goes to my school," he said flatly.

"Oh. She seems like a nice girl." _You only seen her for like five seconds before she grabbed her sister and bailed_, Rodrick thought but he agreed with her nonetheless. Bobbi was nice all the time, even while she was tutoring him.

"And she's the one that's been tutoring you? Well I'll say she's been doing a excellent job because your grades have really improved, Rodrick. Your father and I are really proud of you,"She said warmly. His grades really were improving. He went from a "D" in Algebra to a "B". His English went from a "C" to an "A", and his Chemistry grades were now all Cs and Bs instead of Fs.

"But next time, you have to get our permission to have a girl over. We don't want anything…inappropriate to happen." _Couldn't she just say "sex", it's not that dirty of a word. Besides we couldn't do it even if we wanted to_. What he found out from Bobbi during her tutoring sessions was that whenever she went somewhere she would have to bring her sister, Jerri, with her. With her sister around, Bobbi couldn't easily go to parties or on dates with her and the guy alone because Jerri would rat her out to their parents if she tried to. "My parents wouldn't have to worry about me rebelling or having sex with boys without them knowing. Jerri is adamant on making sure I never have sex until I'm in college and totally out of her reach for snitching. Though for all I know she'll probably nagged to me to death on whether or not I'm still being a "good girl"," she complained once. When he suggested that she should either blackmail or threaten her, she replied by saying that she could never do that. Apparently Bobbi doted on her little sister a lot.

"Why was she over there anyway?" She asked. Rodrick turned red in the face. She finally dropped the big awkward question.

"Well…I...Kinda…wanted…to...err give her something," he said in low voice, barely above a whisper. _Please don't make me continue._

"What was that?" She asked, confused. Rodrick wanted to bang his head on the table.

"I wanted to give her something," he said, louder but humiliated. The humiliation was not over.

"You wanted to give her a gift? That's so sweet," she complimented. He could hear Greg snickering from the other side. _Can she end it right here?_

His mother was not done.

"Wait a minute…do you like this girl?" _WHY ME?_

"No…"

"You do! No wonder the box was shaped like a heart!" She squealed. _Why can't I be sick right now?_

"Oh sweetie I'm really sorry that Manny ate your chocolates. But you know he's only four." _Yes, that makes me feel MUCH better. _"Well if you need any ideas on how to get Bobbi to like, you can ask me," she finally said. After that, Rodrick spent the rest of the evening wanting to puke. _Why does life hate me?_

The next day, however, he went to his mother.

"Mom, what do you think I should do?" He asked.

"Well, I used to bake cookies for your father when we were younger. I still bake them now whenever times are special for us. I can help you make some for her," she replied. His mom's cookies were really good, he had to admit. It would be great for her to help him since the last time he tried to make to something he made everyone sick because he accidently cooked the dish with dishwasher liquid.

The cookies actually looked good really good. They made chocolate chip with raisins and peanuts. This could turn out really well this time.

He caught up with her as she was walking out of school with a bag that contained some of the cookies.

"Hey Bobbi, I made you something." He handed her the bag. She smiled.

"Cookies? Thanks I was starving for some." Rodrick looked on excitedly as she pulled one out of the bag. _She's gonna love it. She totally is._

Just as she was about to eat it, she stopped. Rodrick looked at her in confusion.

"Uh…Rodrick?"

"Yeah?"

"I can't eat this."

"…Why not?"

"This has peanuts in it. I'm allergic to peanuts."

Rodrick gave her a blank look. She smiled awkwardly.

"I can give it to Jerri. She likes peanuts. Thank anyways." And she was off. She couldn't tutor him today.

Rodrick simply stood there, watching her retreating form.

Now he was starting to get super discouraged.


End file.
